The Inner Circle

I had the opportunity to be at the U2 360 Tour at the Rose Bowl on October 25^th. Julie and I went with our friends Ron and Dawn Stueckle. Now I had never seen U2 in concert and was looking forward to it. I got GA tickets for the floor because I figured that at the Rose Bowl, any regular seats would be pretty far away. We arrived at the Rose Bowl at 10am after a friend called and said she got there at 4am, only to be told she was number 632 for admission. We got in line and eventually someone came around and marked us 1607-1610. The deal was that we wanted to be in the inner circle. U2 sets their stage up, then surrounds it with a circular catwalk that they can run around. A select few get to be inside that circle. It was first come, first serve. So we sat in line for 7 hours for the opportunity to be a part of the inner circle. When it was a little before 3pm, security came by and gave us wrist bands. They told us we would be let into the stadium at 5pm and that we would enter in line in groups of 250. I went to the car to drop off some stuff, when Julie paged me and said that the line was moving. It was not only moving it was running, running to the gate, no longer an orderly line but a frantic mob. I found my group and we were squished with the masses.

We waited and security came by to tell us to go back in line, but no one moved. Finally they let us into the stadium. It was a mad dash to the stage. We hurried down to the front and were admitted into the inner circle. We had made it. It was five o'clock, two more hours for the Black Eyed Peas to come on and three more for U2. We stood, holding our space, claiming our right to be in the inner circle. The problem was that no one was satisfied simply being in the inner circle, they kept inching forward or pushing sideways to get dead center, or get close to the stage. All throughout the show, it was pushing and shoving for a better position or a better view. The inner circle was not good enough, inside the circle there was still something better to go after. And it never stopped, a constant pushing and shoving and arguing.

About halfway through the U2 concert, I had had enough of the shoving and fights that were occurring throughout. We got out of the inner circle to the General Admission area and it was as if someone opened the windows. It was refreshing. There was room to breathe, room to dance, to move around and do whatever we wanted in response to the music. Out there, away from the inner circle, there was freedom and it was perfect. There was one guy who was dancing with his cane, another doing the footloose dance and couples dancing together, it was relaxed and free.

The whole thing got me thinking about social structures in general. So many times we look to the "in" group at work or socially and think that if we could only get there, then life would be great. But what ends up happening, without fail, is that when we get into the inner circle, there is still a jockeying for position, there is pushing and shoving going on, fighting going on, no one is ever satisfied. When we stop striving to be part of the inner circle, but live freely where we are, then we can have fun and do whatever we want to do without fear of condemnation, or worry about what others are thinking. When we stop striving to be popular or cool then we can find freedom to live how we were meant to live.

Truthfully being in the inner circle was fun, but being part of the regular crowd was way more freeing. I guess I now know where I belong. I want to invite you to join me, you can come just as you are and there is a ton of room. Bring your dancing shoes.

 

Peace

Edwin

No one Mourns the Wicked

So I am, going to change the names up in this blog. For those of you who know who this pertains to, keep praying for the families involved. For those of you who don't, pray for the families involved. The family does not need any more media attention; therefore names have been changed as to not draw media attention to what is already a situation that has too much attention. Thanks- Edwin

 

Grace and I went and saw Wicked last week. I know, cool. We did the lottery thing. You show up a couple of hours early and put your name in a glass tub then hope they pull your name. If they do then you only pay $25 per ticket. We got in and had horrible seats. But quickly got up and moved to dead center orchestra row N. We had great seats.

If you have not seen this wonderful prequel to the Wizard of Oz I highly recommend it. I am going to give some of the play away here, so don't keep reading if you don't want to know what happens. In the story based on Gregory Maguire's novel is the back-story of the Wicked Witch of the West. Her name is Elphaba. She is born green and because she is green she is despised and treated as other, shunned and bullied. While in school, Elphaba learns of the powers that be; the Wizard of Oz plans to oppress the talking animals including her favorite professor who happens to be a goat. Elphaba resists the oppressive Oz and by doing so, becomes an even more maligned and vilified person by the powerful spin of the wizard. During her time in school Elphaba meets Galinda/Glinda the Good Witch. Glinda ends up working for Oz and turns on her friend Elphaba because Glinda craves popularity.

The thing about Wicked is that all of my life the world of Oz had seemed pretty simple. The Wicked Witch of the West was bad, Glinda was good, Oz was self-serving, but ok in the end, and the monkeys were really bad. What the play and book do is take those notions of good and evil and question them to the core. A "what if" is created, a "time to walk in another person's shoes" is made. We find out that although the Wicked Witch of the West appears wicked she is indeed good, and the good witch, Glinda, is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination.

It was no coincidence that the week I saw Wicked is the week we got the bad news about Tony. Tony is a kid who is a part of our community and who last week allegedly killed another man. The details were horrific. Tony's foster parents and all of us who heard the news were stunned and shocked. As I saw the news all last week and saw Tony's picture on the TV and heard the victim's father interviewed, I was in tears for Tony, the victim, the victim's family, Tony's family both biological and foster, and our church who helped raise Tony.

I thought about what strangers would think who heard the story. A black kid from foster care murders a white kid with special needs. The victim is the victim and the perpetrator is evil. Pretty simple. But like the play Wicked, there is so much more to this story.

First we do not know what happened. We only know what the media reports and what witnesses state they saw; that is not what happened but what the media concludes what happened. We do know that a young man was killed, that is horrible. We do know that Tony is suspected of doing it and that the officer on the scene shot Tony four times.

That is all the facts that we know. Until we know more, we continue to pray for the victim's family and all those affected by this event.

What really got me thinking was how many other events occur that I have judged to be evil or bad with no real evidence to support it. I have no idea what is going on to lead up to the event, I don't know the real story and may never know it.

Maybe, just maybe that is why Jesus calls us to be very hesitant to judge another person. He basically states that to the standard we judge others, we will be judged. I know I would appreciate it if anyone is thinking about judging me, that they would get my side of the story first. Most of us don't take the time to find out what the back-story is. Instead we would much rather live in a world where we can point our finger to them and say, "they are evil, they are wicked."

That is until the finger is pointed at us, at one of our own.

Maybe this can be one thing that God "works for the good" out of this bad situation, that we no longer draw conclusions until we have the full story. Most of the time, when we get the whole story, we will realize that there are very few evil people in this world. There are many bad decisions made, but not that many bad people.

 

Pray

 

Peace

Edwin

The Idol of Self

Last Thursday the Blue Angels came screaming by our home as they always do in preparation for Fleet Week. As they flew over I could hear the kids at the school across the street start chanting: "Blue Angels, Blue Angels." As if their words could be heard over the F/A-18 Hornet engines as they flew by at 1,200 miles an hour. It was a display of raw power created by human ingenuity and skill. It provoked a sense of awe and wonder by young and old alike.

Then the next day I was invited to the Presidents Cup by John Calhoun. I had never been to a professional Golf Tournament and have only played a couple of times. John however is a huge fan and I was looking forward to an afternoon with a seasoned pastor and a friend so we headed down to Lake Merced. Not only were we not allowed to use our cell phones we were not even allowed to possess them. So we were on the course with our total focus on the best golf players in the world. It was the US vs. the International Community sans Europe. It was a spectacular sporting event. We cheered, ooed and aaawed as players hit the ball hard, straight, far and with touch. We watched a chip from the rough that went into the hole and the crowd went crazy. Literally, thousands of people followed around the players in the hopes of witnessing history.

Then Saturday arrived with bad weather, that grounded the Blue Angels, and the golf game ended Sunday and the immortals became mortal as they packed up their bags and went back to their homes where they were husbands, sons and fathers. Those who flew high were now grounded, those whose crowds cheered were back to being regular men.

We constantly look for things to worship and admire. When the only true place our need to worship can be satisfied is at the altar of God our Creator.

Worship is what we are created to do. We were created to be in relationship with our Creator. The basis of that relationship is worship. We have difficulty worshipping at times because we place our hearts in other areas. There is nothing wrong with loving powerful planes and great skill at any task. The problems arise when we take that admiration to worship. When we make worship the creation and not the creator as Paul says in Romans. The way of Jesus is allow no other to be worshipped but Him. As we follow his example when he was tempted, "Worship, the Lord your God, and serve Him only", I am reminded to follow Jesus' example.

That was easy to do on Tuesday. As the rains fell and the winds howled almost shutting down our city, I was reminded that God is God and I am not.

Help Me I’m Falling

The California Academy of Sciences is an amazing jewel in Golden Gate Park. We have a family pass and have found that if we visit right after school gets out, the place is empty (all of the school field trips and folks from out of town trying to beat the traffic are gone). We can get in a good hour and a half of exploring without any wait. The two domes on the living roof house the tropical rainforest and the Morrison Planetarium, which is featuring Journey to the Stars.

If you have been there, then you will understand what I am about to describe. When you first walk into the Planetarium you start at the bottom, much like an IMAX theater, and then work your way to the middle or top to find a seat. As I walked up the steps I started to experience some vertigo. I literally almost fell down trying to climb the stairs. I held onto the railing tightly following the kids. I thought I was having some health problem at first. Then when I sat in my seat and looked up, I started to get dizzy again. There was nothing showing yet, just the low level lights around the edges of the dome.

Then I heard Jake say, "Man I'm dizzy." So we were all feeling it. We were all out of sorts, all dizzy and disorientated. I looked up and realized why. I could not tell if the ceiling was five feet away, ten feet away, or twenty feet away. My eyes and brain could not process the information. I had no bearings and without an understanding of where the ceiling was, I could not even walk. Without a proper understanding of where the top was and where I fit in, I could not do something as simple as walk up a flight of stairs.

It made me think of the importance of worship. One of the things that Corporate Worship provides me and the follower of Jesus is perspective. Corporate Worship is an opportunity for me to gain the perspective that I need to place God and others before me. When I spend time worshipping with my church, it allows me to get the perspective that God is God and I am not, that I am to take up my cross and follow Him, that I am not the center of the universe, despite what the world tells me.

It is difficult to get perspective on my own. I need a time to stop and place my focus not on myself, my family, or my concerns, but on God creator of the universe. It allows me to see the world how it really is, to gain real perspective and when I gain perspective, I am able to walk without stumbling.

A Story to Tell

Last week Jake and I went to see my mom, who is in the middle of a battle with cancer. We had a great time visiting my mom and she just completed her second round of chemo and is looking forward to a break.

While I was there, I had the opportunity to catch up with some friends from high school. My mom said that we could visit for an hour in the morning and a couple of hours in the evening, but she would be too tired to visit for the whole day. So we had some time to run around. We went into DC and like I said, I got together with my high school friends. I had not seen them for 25 years and I was nervous to see them. I don' know what your high school experience was like, but I have a suspicion it was like mine. I felt like I had no friends, I felt like I was always on the outside looking in, I felt like everyone else had it figured out, had it together, and I was lost.

I decided that I would go to this gathering despite my nervousness. I was pleasantly surprised at how much fun I had. Everyone was thrilled to see me, which is always nice, and wanted to know what life was like. I was surprised by it all and came away so happy that I went.

I think the most surprising part of my time was a conversation that I had with a friend. She was, like so many of us, a regular high school student. She was not particularly popular or unpopular; she had friends and activities that she was involved in. I asked her if she was married or had kids. She said that when she was in high school her father was very ill. It fell to her all through high school to take care of her dad and her little brothers. She was in charge of the laundry, cooking cleaning. When she finished high school she was responsible to take care of her household. What an amazing amount of pressure, of responsibility. The thing is that I never knew any of this, and that is the point.

So many of us live our lives so self absorbed with our own dialogue, that we miss the reality that those around us have real problems and real struggles. We are so busy worrying about ourselves that we totally miss that those around us need our help, our love and our compassion.

I left the conversation in awe of this strong woman who at the age of 16 was running a household, taking care of a sick adult man, and raising two preteen boys. At the same time that I was learning to drive, worrying about who liked me and who did not like me, she was paying bills and wondering if there was enough money to make it through next week.

We have been looking at worship when we gather together on Sundays. I think that one of the things worship does is allow us to get our eyes off of ourselves and on to God. It provides balance to our lives that otherwise would be all about self. It helps us get our eyes on God so that we can love Him with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength. Worship of God gets us to look at God, be in His presence and be transformed.

I am hopeful for our church community as we long to be a community learning from Jesus to seek justice, love and serve others and walk humbly with God. I am hopeful, because we are learning to worship. As we learn to worship and we look at God and not ourselves, we are then able to see people as God sees them.

Peace

Edwin

Driven By Distractions

On Sundays we are in the middle of a series about Worship as an Act of Defiance. This is a strange title, I know. But I think that it is helpful to me to realize that worship is more than a time to feel emotionally good, but a true transformational event. When I enter into the presence of God, I am stating to God and all who would hear, that I am His and He is my Lord and King. I submit to His leading's and I follow Him not anyone or anything else. And that is an act of defiance to all the powers and principalities of this world. Strong language and for most of us language that makes us uncomfortable, I get that.

It is like this. Most of us, including me have a tendency to walk around as if we are sleepwalking. Unaware that all around us something big is going on. Have you ever seen a sleep walker. My friend's daughter is a sleepwalker. We were hanging out one night when all of a sudden there she was in the middle of the living room. She was in her pajamas, her eyes were wide open, she was staring at us. I said, "Hi", she did not say anything. She looked alert and present, for all I could tell, no different than a couple of hours earlier at dinner. My friend said, "She is asleep." I could not believe it. She was sleeping, and in her mind a whole other scene was being played out, when the reality of the situation was she was standing in the living room of her house. The next day she of course remembered nothing of the events that I saw.

We are sleepwalking. God is in the middle of this epic battle and we are lulled to sleep by our simple ordinary lives. We are living in a dreamland unaware of what is really going on around us. Worship, when we fully participate and are present, awakens our hearts mind and souls to the working of God and invites us to join Him. That is not only dangerous but is defiant to the forces that are singing us to sleep.

Distractions are one of those lullabies. Distractions are outside stimuli that draw our attentions away from the things we are attempting to focus in on, like God. So how do we fight the distractions in our lives? I know what works for me is the same thing that has worked for those who have gone before us. Practicing those disciplines that keep use centered and focused: Centering Prayer, Lectio Divina, Prayer of Examen. The problem arises when we start talking this busyness with a list of things to do. So how about trying this? This Sunday wherever you worship, plan your day a little differently than in the past. Leave the house with every intention of getting to your community worship event 30 minutes early. Sit in the back or parking lot or park close by and read Psalm 84 aloud and rest in the words. Pray silently asking God to prepare your heart and the heart of all those that you worship with for a transformational experience. Be still during this time.

I wonder what our time of worship would be like if we could do this on a regular basis. Most of us arrive to our collective times, rushed feeling late so that it is 20 minutes after we arrive that we actually arrive mentally and spiritually. This other practice can and does help. If you are going to take the time to worship collectively with others, you might as well do it right, all the way. I caution you however, when God does reveal His purposes to you and your community, it will not be an easy path, but it beats walking around asleep.

Peace

Edwin

A Week of Bad Behavior

It was a week of bad behavior and I heard about it everywhere. Blogs, Facebook, Twitter. It seemed like the country's attention was on the famous ones and how they could not behave themselves: Kanye, Serena and Joe Wilson. It was a virtual whose who of personas with rock stars, sports figures and politicians reminding us how not to treat each other.

As our kids head out the door, I wonder, what is acceptable behavior? I was on a field trip with Grace this week. We went on a sailing trip around Angel Island with Call of the Sea. What was a pleasant and welcomed surprise, was how kind the students were to each other and how that kindness was contagious.

Watching Grace and her three friends eat lunch was a lesson in the benefits of kindness and sharing. Grace sat with three of her girlfriends. They all got their food out. The next thing I knew, Grace was eating sushi, noodle soup, a veggie sandwich and the other girls were picking through Grace's lunch that I had made her. This was such a beautiful thing to watch because there was not much discussion or classic trading, simply an unspoken understanding that if it was on the table, it was for everyone. The girls walked away with a much more balanced meal and a new experience since there was a Thai, Chinese, Cambodian and whatever Grace's J meal on the table.

I guess what I walked away with (besides a healthy dose of lunch envy) was a respect and a hope. I now respect these girls that they had gotten to this level of relational comfort around each other. I also have hope that their generation might actually learn to live a different type of life, a Kingdom of God life.

"'Lord when did I see you hungry?'

'I tell you when you did it to the least of these you did it to me.'"

-Jesus as reported in the book of Matthew