You Would Think That We Would Know Better

This week I witnessed two train wrecks. OK metaphorically speaking only.

It happened via email and I am so thankful that it had nothing to do with me or the church or anyone any of you know so don't go jumping to conclusions, really, don't do it!

The deal is that both of these situations could have been averted or the damage lessened if the parties involved made one simple decision. Pick up the damn phone!!!! Sorry, but by now we should know better.

It never ceases to amaze me. We should all know by now that if we are trying to communicate something from the heart, something that we are emotionally tied to then we should never ever do it via email. I wish I knew why this is the way it is, but I know it to be true. Email is a great tool for communicating information from one person or group to another, but it is a horrible tool for communicating feelings, emotions or something that is heartfelt. Something to do with the electrons or maybe the light from the screen deadens our cells but it does not work. I remember when email first started getting popular you heard about people sending stuff to the wrong people or email getting someone in trouble because they did not realize that once you send an email you have no control over what happens to it after you hit the send key. Most of us get that concept pretty well, but many of us fail to realize that sometimes the best way to get our message across is to take the time to call or have coffee.

I think many of us have become emotionally paralyzed. We are afraid that somehow if we talk to the other person face to face, it is not going to go well. We forget that in "real life" we have a much better chance of a successful conversation occurring than via the internet. When we sit together face to face you read my facial expressions, I read yours. I read your body language, you read mine, you see the sincerity in my face or see the fear in my eyes and you realize that I really care about the relationship, I see you whine or fold your arms or turn away and I realize that I am causing you pain and I try another softer route to communicate. None of these things can happen in an email.

But we do it anyway. We are too busy or we are more likely too angry and feel we have to get it out and we write and hit send and then reread what we wrote and wince. We wish we could take it back but it is too late. Or we write something that we would never ever say to a person face to face, but since we are typing it into a computer, our filters are tossed out the window and we say what we feel, never considering what we are saying could cost us the relationship that we have with the recipient.

This Lenten season, I encourage all of us to make our relationship with each other a priority. As we walk humbly with God and seek justice, let us remember that Jesus said that the world would know us by the love we have for each other. Take the time to seek out others. Create space for communication. If you get an email that seems out of sorts, pick up the phone and give them a call. Like I said, this blog has nothing to do with me or our community, but I thought it is a good reminder to all of us.

Peace

Edwin

Last Words

I remember back in the ninth grade I had a Social Studies teacher who was a wannabe hippie. He came dressed in an old army jacket when teaching about the sixties and playing Woodstock by CSN&Y. I can remember he talked about protests and movements like he was a big part of them and most of us clung to every word that came out of his mouth. He was smart, well read and passionate about his craft of teaching. He was big on feelings and experiencing what he taught. I am pretty sure he smoked a ton of pot.

Anyway one of the classroom exercises we did was to lie down on the table in front of everyone and pretend that we died. We were supposed to be in our casket and everyone in the room was at our funeral. A tragic sudden death had occurred. Now we had five minutes to come back from the grave and say whatever we wished that we had said. Besides this being a pretty crazy exercise for a 14 year old it was fascinating both then and looking back.

Everyone, I mean everyone said the same thing: “I want to tell my mom and dad that I love them, or I want to tell my mom that I love her.” I think the conformity drove my teacher a little batty, but there was no denying the fact that all of us who graduated in the mid eighties had issues communicating to our parents. My dad for instance never, I mean never told me he loved me until I said it first when I was sixteen and even then it was not something he did uninitiated only when I said it first. He grew up in the depression, fought in WWII, all the classic excuses, but there it was a generation who did not know how to tell our parents that we loved them.

Lent starts up this next week. We will be going through Jesus’ farewell discourse. Jesus knew that he was going to die that night and he had some things that he wanted to say. He washed the disciples’ feet, taught them about communion, described how our relationship with him was going to be after his resurrection, and described the Holy Spirit. It is a fascinating part of scripture.

As we prepare for Lent, maybe it might be worthwhile to ask the question that my tenth grade teacher was really asking. Is there anything left undone? Are there things in our life that we need to say, or take back? Are there things to do, or fix? Are there areas in our life that are a regret that need adjusting. As we study Jesus’ last words to His disciples and meditate on them, they can be a source of strength to take care of things undone.

John 17:20-23

 "My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. 

Who Knows You?

I was thinking a lot about cell phones today. I don't know why, but I have a tendency to find lost ones. I have found four here in the city over the last three months. Today I found one at Golden Gate Disc Golf course. I was playing with a friend and there on the ground was a cell phone. The other three phones I found at Golden Gate Children's Playground. All four times I was able to find the owner. I go to the address book on the phone and dial the names that look like they mean something. You know those names in your address book like: papa, sweetie, dad, mom, home…

It got me thinking. I did not snoop (promise). But if someone were to pick up your phone what would they learn about you? Our phones have become for any of us a reflection, a mirror or lens into who we are. Who is on your speed dial says much about you. I have Little Star Pizza on mine. Every Friday night I am ordering two pizzas for pick up on my way home for our family "pizza and movie night". Julie is on there of course. We have music, pictures, websites, apps, texts, calendars, phone records. All are clues as to how we spend our day, spend our lives. The social scientist in me comes out and realizes that a cell phone gives us a clue as to who we have become.

What does your phone say about you?

Like all that we do, I hope that we use our phone with intentionality. Do we think about how we use our phones and our technology, do we think about how it reflects upon us to others, who we are and what we are speaking into society? I guess the thing is that we are ambassadors at all times. We never know when someone's eyes are watching us or ears are listening in on what we are saying. Do we carry ourselves in such a way that reflects the grace, love, and transformational power of Jesus in our lives?

 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

                                -Paul's Second Letter to the Corinthians chapter 5 verse 17-6:1

It is all Grace-

Peace

Edwin

Not Sure What to Make of It.

It is a longer story than I can get into here but here is the deal. I was in a restaurant, by myself, food was too messy to read the book I brought with me. The TV was on and it was a Mixed Martial Art bout. For those of you who do not know, Mixed Martial Art fights have surpassed traditional boxing and pro-wrestling in its popularity. It is a fighting sport where the object is to knock out or make your opponent submit to you in a submission hold. There are a few rules. The fighters have on very light weight gloves and a pair of shorts. No Head-butting, no kicking the opponent when they are on the ground, no elbows to the back of the head, throat or spine.

I was watching the fight with much interest. First off it made me realize that all the adventure movies and shows were phony. These two men were in great shape and hitting each other as hard as they could to the face and head and no one was going down. On TV and in the movies the hero is always hitting the bad guys with one punch and they drop like a house of cards no matter their size. But here was my question, was this a bad thing?

OK I know, really? All the gambling, promotion and etc aside, is what is going in on the ring OK? Is it OK for people who are not angry at each other to get into a ring or wherever and have it out. Just beat on each other until they are done? There is something very primal and cathartic about this. Wrestling, fighting horseplay, football whatever all seem to meet a need that may have to blow off steam and MMA seems to meet that need.

I watched Fight Club for the first time this year. I watched it because I kept seeing it at guys under thirty's apartments. I mean every single guy under thirty seem to have at least one copy of the movie. Whatever The Matrix was to me, Fight Club seems to speak to them, so I watched it, and I thought, OK there is something here. There is something in many of us that wants to get hit and wants to hit someone else. So what are we to do?

Saturday February 14^th at 6pm at Justin Herman Plaza is the annual SF pillow fight. Last year's looked like a doozy. This is way better than MMA in my estimation. The rules are simple. Wait for the Ferry building clock to strike 6:00 pm, don't hit anyone without a pillow, Don't hit anyone with a camera, have fun. Maybe this is where we should head. If there really is something deep inside of us that needs to get out, an aggression that we need to spend, then maybe a pillow fight is better than beating each other with our fists or our words. I wonder what the world would be like if instead of our fists instead of guns and bombs we got into a pillow fight until we were totally exhausted, then we started talking?

I am thinking about heading down this year, is anyone going?

Let me know.

 

Peace

Edwin