If we knew now what we didn’t know then…

My dad was in WWII. I know that most of your grandparents were his age, but let's just say that I was a surprise to everyone when I arrived. Long before I was born, he was in Europe, he was at the Battle of the Bulge. For those of you who do not know what that means, he saw some of the bloodiest fighting in Europe. He never would talk about his time at war. But he and his fellow soldiers risked their lives so that people would not die. Jews and all others found undesirable, were executed in mass and my dad helped put an end to it. After learning what all was really going on, my dad and his peers wish that they had been involved earlier. Six million Jews were killed and the world let it happen. But really most people did not know or want to know. History helps us see so clearly.

In my lifetime there have been two major genocides. In 1994 800,000 Tutsis were massacred by the Hutus. The warning signs were there, but because it was an internal strife, and because it was Africa, the world stood by and again did nothing until it was too late. In 1992 the Bosnian Conflict turned for the worse. Over 200,000 Bosnian Muslims were slaughtered by the Serbs while the west watched and allowed it to take place. Again as we look back, we wonder why we did not do more, why did we not head this off earlier?

Five years from now when my kids are older, when they ask, daddy why didn't you do anything to stop the genocide in Darfur? I can't respond, I didn't know. I do know. Sudan's President, Omar Al-Bashir, has expelled 16 humanitarian aid organizations from Sudan, placing millions of Darfuri civilians at immediate risk. This means that in less than two weeks…

 

• 1.2 million people will need water
  
• 1.1 million people will need food
  
• 1.5 million people will be without access to health services
  

  
   

 

I do not have answers for this difficult conflict. But I want our government and the world to say to our leaders, we care about the people of Darfur. Yes our economy is a mess and yes we need to fix it, but I have clean water, food and shelter. I will not die because we are in a recession, but the millions in Darfur will if we do not act now.

 

So I am asking you to take two minutes and text the following:

 

Please send this text message to Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, at 90822.

 

Dear Secretary Clinton,

Please act now to ensure that humanitarian aid to Darfur is restored immediately. Millions are at risk!

Name
City, State 

 

How simple is that. Then I would ask you to pray and if you want to get involved contact Esther Sprague at esprague11@yahoo.com.

Pray for peace.

Edwin

Stopping The Creation of A Cynic

It was the hot topic at dinner. I heard it three different times, from Julie, Grace and Ean. Ean's version was the most intriguing. The three of them were headed to the pet store for some supplies when a lady came up to them and asked for money for gas. She lived in Concord (shows her driver license). She explained that she was not able to reach her husband with her cell phone (shows the cell phone), because he was on a job site. She was not able to use her Wells Fargo ATM card (shows the card) because her pay check had not cleared. Her car was at the gas station down the street and she needed some gas money. Julie offered to take her to the gas station and fill up her gas tank. The woman said ok, but insisted that they finish their shopping, then when they got done if she was not able to get money from someone else they would go.

It turns out shopping took awhile. When they got out Ean and Grace were concerned for the lady so they went to the gas station. When they got there they spoke with the attendant and he said that there was no car there and no one who had run out of gas unless they came in early this morning. Julie and the kids were baffled. They drove back to the pet store and saw the woman with a man headed down the hill toward the gas station. They pulled over and waited. They walked right past the gas station and headed to the front of a different store. He pointed to one store and she headed to that one while he went to the front of the other. It occurred to my family that they almost got conned. Ean was livid.

His sense of justice and fair play kicked in. He said that she was a bad lady. He said that she lied and tried to take our money. He was pretty angry. Julie listened. Then she said that it was time to pray for the lady and her husband. Ean argued, I don't want to pray for her, she tried to trick me. Julie said, yes it is true that the lady was behaving badly, but that she is still a child of God and that God loves her very much. Ean frowned, and was not convinced. Julie continued. We should pray that the woman would come to know the love of God and then she would not want to live by lying and tricking people.

When Ean got home to tell me the story, it was clear that he was not 100 percent convinced. But I could hear his heart had softened a little. Julie had taught him the Jesus way. It is not an easy way but it is the only way that we are going to get anywhere. Jesus teaches us if someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

Jesus does not say: love those who are easy to love and give you warm fuzzies back, he does not say: love those who can love you back in such a way that fills your soul. He does not say love the loveable, the working, the mentally sound, the sober, the clean, the housed, the stable ones. Love your enemy Ean, even when she tries to take your money. A difficult lesson, even when you are six. By insisting that they pray for this woman, Julie helped prevent the creation of a cynic and replaced him with a child of God.

Positive Displacement

Displacement is a psychological defense mechanism that helps us cope with difficult situations. For example when we are angry we hit a pillow instead of our boss. We displace our rage that we feel toward our boss or friend to an inanimate object that is safe. Psychologists describe this defense mechanism as being unconscious and most examples are in the negative, defending against negative emotional outbursts that could cause harm.

Last week I shared about my sister Linda and the difficulty I was having with her death and the dysfunction of my family. As I was blogging I sat in Peet's coffee in Berkeley and sat next to a gentleman named Bill. Bill looked to be around thirty-five, African American and that he was a working man. He had on a green jacket. He looked at me and asked, "Is that a computer?" I said, "Yes." I turned my screen toward him so he could see what I was writing. He said, "Man you can type fast, I couldn't type that fast in a million years." I laughed. He said, "Where did you learn to type so fast?" I said, "Practice." There was a pause as I continued to write.

Bill looked at me and said, "We are the same, we are both men." I said, "Yes we are, we have eyes and a nose and a mouth." He said "Yep we are the same you and me." As you can tell from our conversation Bill was mentally handicapped. It was clear from our conversation he was developmentally disabled, much like my sister Linda. As we got to talking, Bill told me he lived with his mom and had one brother. He said he worked in a kitchen in downtown Oakland where he helped in food prep. He also went to church and weekly bible study and loved Jesus.

As I was talking to him I realized that in that moment of grief and pain for my sister, God placed Bill in my path. He let me run into Bill because I could not love my sister or mourn her death in the traditional fashion. Instead, God allowed me to love Bill. God allowed me to speak to Bill and have a conversation with him and treat him with dignity and respect. He allowed me to let Bill know that we are the same and that we are both created in the image of God, both His beloved.

I was able to express my love to Bill because I had no ability to do so toward Linda.

I don't think displacement always needs to be a negative thing. I think many of us who had difficult relationships with others in our past can find joy and healing through caring for those around us now. We can serve and help those in our present circumstance as a way of redeeming past hurts and wrongs.

I think also that Christ calls us to this when he describes our call in Matthew 25:

37 "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40 "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

We want to thank Jesus for all that he has done for us. One way to do this is to express our love and care to the least of these. We want to serve God, one way to do this is to serve the least of these.

I will continue in my grief to turn this negative into a positive, searching for ways to honor Linda and what she has taught me by being respectful to those of us who are different, who others might not have patience for, but I do because God placed her in my life.

 

Peace

Edwin

What Do You Do When You Can’t Do Anything?

OK here is the deal. This is not going to be a nice uplifting blog, or maybe it is, I don't really know how it is going to turn out. Here is the deal, my sister died on Monday morning, which was the 5^th anniversary of my dad's death. I wish I could say that we were close. I wish I could say that I could go to a funeral and mourn her death in a normal, healthy manner. I can't say those things. Instead my life and my relationship with her is very complicated. Best-selling novel complicated.

Without going into too much detail, I have to give you some background. My sister, Linda, was my dad's adopted daughter from his first marriage. She was mentally challenged and had many problems. After my dad's divorce, Linda stayed with her mother. Being mentally handicapped, she was able to get a job for awhile as a beautician's helper, but not able to keep it. She eventually married, a man who was also mentally handicapped, and had two children. That marriage ended in divorce, and Linda's mother ended up with custody of her children. Linda ended up alone and estranged from her kids for most of her life.

So here is the thing. Linda's life was a mess. She was very lonely and had very little opportunity. Once her mother got her kids, Linda was not able to be around them. Neither were any of us allowed to see her children. She was not able to keep her job and she was not able to do very much. She did not have any friends and when she did get friends, it seemed they were always the kind to take advantage of her.

Linda loved me. When she would visit, she would pretend that she was my mother and I was her baby. When she was a teenager, and came to visit us, she took care of me and pulled me around in a wagon, because I was in bandages (the details of that are for another story!). Linda loved me so much that she named her son after me. Whenever we talked she would show such kindness and affection.

Linda's life was tragic. I have often wrestled with God when it comes to her plight. Why was she born without the capacity to be independent enough to have a joy filled life? Why was her mother so mean to her all the time? Why were we as a family so unable to help her? Why would her mom protest anytime we tried to get her help, but then not provide the help herself? Everything we tried failed miserably. It seemed that God was not working and would not let us work. Linda's mom died last year and I went out to help her with the funeral. I had not seen my sister in 10 years. She looked horrible and was living in a horrible situation, but again refused help. Her kids also refused to accept the help or heed the advice they needed to make any slight improvement to their lives.

Monday I got the call from her son that Linda died during the night in a hospital. I did not know she was sick until it was too late. There will be no funeral for Linda. Her children have refused.

My heart is broken. Was she scared? Was she feeling alone in the hospital? Did she know that God loved her and that I did too? How is it that I am able to help others, but not my own sister? Where is God in all of this? Where is God in the darkest areas of our lives? Can God reach the places we can't see - those places where we fail to look or fail to reach?

In his book, The Prophetic Imagination Walter Brueggemann writes this: "God works on both sides of the street." Bruegemann is discussing how God is working in the darkness as well as the light, specifically working on Pharaoh and Israel at the same time. I take comfort in this true statement.

I have to trust that God was working in Linda's life although I could not see it. Just as the Israelites were not aware of what God was doing in Pharaoh's life, I have no idea what God was doing with Linda. I will trust that the God who saved my life, was working in the life of my sister, despite my doubts and lack of faith. I know God loved and loves Linda. That has to be enough to get me through today.